The first day of my fortieth year. In 364 days I’ll be forty years old. In some ways I think I should be depressed as hell. But a tiny voice says things are bouncing in the right direction.

Not the big picture stuff certainly: a collapsing economy and war with someone (TBD) will see to that. Death and poverty tend to make life suck. As I said here before in a different context:

Economic and social hardship lead to political instability. Or to take it another way, quoting Master Yoda: “Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, and hate leads to suffering.” And people fear nothing as much as they fear death. This is the path to the dark side.

The little stuff is looking pretty good though. Business is getting better. I’m getting more comfortable being on my own professionally. Its not just good because it keeps Quicken off my back, but it gives me the freedom to make some personal commitments and have a more stable life. Great friends helped me start out the year right, and I’m pretty sure their presence will keep the year a good one.

Despite having been in San Diego for nearly one and one-half years, I’m not feeling the itch to move away. Even though I loved Monterey (1999-2001), my last six months there were spent trying to find new work wherever it might be. By my third year of law school (1996-1999), I was itching to get back to California and never see the uninvited snow of Washington and Idaho again. I don’t even want to think about the efforts during my second year in Togo (1994-1996) to get the hell away from that place, that continent and that job.

Instead, 17 months into the San Diego phase of my life I’m looking for ways to increase my local ties and actually put down some lasting roots. I’m making great friends that I can’t see not having in my life. I’m more relaxed with myself and my choices than possibly at any other point of my life. And despite a close call, I still have a dog that loves me.

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